


Cooking and Other Disasters

by jujukittychick



Series: LJ tamingthemuse prompts [3]
Category: Angel: the Series, Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Genre: Angry Cordy, Community: tamingthemuse, Fluff, Multi, helpless Master vampires
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-05-20
Updated: 2014-05-20
Packaged: 2018-01-25 22:26:42
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 743
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1664771
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jujukittychick/pseuds/jujukittychick
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Xander's sick; Spike and Angel want to help</p>
            </blockquote>





	Cooking and Other Disasters

**Author's Note:**

> Prompt: tamingthemuse #264- Kitchen Gadgets  
> Disclaimer: I do not own anything except the computer I'm typing this on and am making no money. The characters all belong to their respective creators and owners who *are* making money off them. I'm just doing this for my own fun and entertainment; in general, if you recognize something, I don't own it.

The two Master vampires stood side by side, backs to the wall as they surveyed the terrain in front of them, blue and brown gazes changing to gold as they sought out any hidden threats lurking in the darkened corners. A trickle of light from the nearby open doorway reflected off polished steel, the threat to the two men obvious. Still, they held firm in their positions, resolve filling every fiber of their beings. They were on a mission, and they’d faced harder challenges in their many years. They…  
  
“Oh for Pete’s sake, it’s just a kitchen!” Cordelia huffed and flipped on the fluorescent lights, bathing the room in bright light as Spike and Angel winced, the sudden change in light wreaking hell on their heightened night vision for a moment. “Really, you two act like you’ve never been in here before.”  
  
“In case you’ve forgotten, Cordy, I’ve kind of been on a liquid diet for a while and almost none of… of that _stuff_ existed when I was human.” Angel looked suspiciously at the various stainless steel appliances and the multitude of kitchen gadgets scattered about. “Well, what about the Bleached Menace over there? He’s forever dunking something in his blood, like it’s not disgusting enough to watch him just _drink_ the stuff.” “Oi! Watch it, girly. ‘Sides, that stuff’s already made in’nit. Why do I need to cook? Got the lot of you around t’ do it for me. An’ if I have at, always got delivery, don’ I? Plus the perk of feeding off the delivery driver.”  
  
“Spike! Tell me you haven’t been doing that the whole time I’ve let you stay here.”  
  
“O’ course not! Just… sometimes. And the bleedin’ soul makes a right fuss about it too.” Spike muttered crossly as he rubbed at his chest absently, ignoring Angel’s disbelieving look.  
  
Cordy rolled her eyes, her hands on her hips as she stared down the two vamps, the weight of her gaze lingering long enough that they began to fidget and cast nervous looks at each other. When neither made a move to start preparing food, she threw her hands up. “Why do I even bother? You two are hopeless, I know this. And just because Xander takes the time to bandage and feed and care for you guys whenever _you’re_ hurt, that’s no reason for you to take care of him when he’s sick right? I mean, you two can face down hoards of demons but you can’t find your way around a kitchen. Pathetic, that’s what it is.”  
  
The two men looked at each other, listening as Cordy mumbled to herself about their incompetence as she rummaged through cupboards and drawers.  
  
“Oi, Peaches, why’d we ask for her ‘elp again?”  
  
“Because neither of us knows how to properly take care of a sick human and Xander needs us… and none of the others were around.”  
  
“I heard that. Here: can of soup, can opener, bowl.” Each item was set on the kitchen island with a heavy thump before she pointed at the microwave. “I _know_ you know how to use that. Same thing, nuke the liquid til it’s hot.”  
  
The two stared blankly at the Seer for a moment before Angel got the nerve to speak up. “You mean that’s it? Just heat up a can of soup? I thought it would be more…um…involved than that.”  
  
“Oh, please! You can’t even work your cell phone and I’ve _seen_ how rough Blondie is with his toys. You think I’m going to risk you guys burning the place down while I’m here, think again.”  
  
Muttering about stupid males and stupid know-it-all vampires and how she was _not_ getting paid enough, Cordelia left Spike and Angel to their appointed task.  
  
Twenty minutes later, after _finally_ figuring out how to work the damned can opener, the two entered their shared bedroom, Spike carrying a steaming bowl of soup and Angel a glass of cold juice, listening to Xander sneeze and sniffle from his position on the bed, buried under a mound of covers.  
  
“Aww, guys! You *sniffle* shouldn’t have.”  
  
“It was nothing.”  
  
“Anything for you, pet.”  
  
*Sniffle* “Maybe a grilled cheese *sniffle* sandwich later?”  
  
Listening to the agitated woman still stomping around in the office, the two vampires, Champions for the Powers That Be, defenders of the innocent, shuddered.  
  
“Anything for you, pet, but…um…”  
  
The two Master vampires shared a look.  
  
“Maybe when Wes gets back, okay?”


End file.
